Fire It Up

The following memo was leaked by Rick James to the staff at Oh Bang, Bang. The following is a memo from Rick James to Barack Obama

TO: Barry
FROM: Slick Rick

Subject: Fire It Up

I decided to come back from the super natural realm of Stone City and write you. And you better listen to up, because, well, I'm RICK JAMES, BITCH!

My first piece of advice is: Don't lie to the kids.

You see, all the kids in US of A have only seen liars for presidents.

All these white boys have lied:

George Bush Senior told the kids back in the 80s:
"Read my lips, no new taxes."



Our supposed brother, Slick Willy, (Billy Bob Clinton) lied to the kids when he told everyone, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" (and that woman was Monica- she sure was a crazy thang!)



And well, GW Bush was the biggest goddamn liar of them all.

He lied about the election results in 2000 and 2004.
He told the kids that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq (and now some brothers are dying unnecessarily out in the middle of the desert. ) Has anyone found those weapons in the desert yet?
I'm not even going list all the lies GW Bush told to the kids.




Basically, the biggest and best thing that you can do for the kids in the USA is to tell the truth.

Barry, Please don't lie to the kids!!!

Perhaps the biggest challenge of your administration:
You gotta restore some god damn dignity to the white house. Don't get caught with your pants down; Don't go running around trying to blow the Iranians off the map.

You got just be yourself in the oval office. Nobody is perfect. We're ALL freaks! So, if you decide to get freaky in the white house, just be honest about it. People love honesty, even if the truth is negative. Nobody likes to be lied to. Just think. What would you do if you caught your boo, Michelle gettin' freaky with another man? and then she lied to you about? You'd be angry if you found out Michelle lied. So, all I'm saying is: Don't lie to the kids. Its time to restore some trust in the presidency and the government.

Next, the following occurred to me: So, you're going to roll up to Pennsylvania Avenue and turn the white house black? Is the white house still the white house with you, a black man, living inside of it!?

Sweet Lord Have Mercy! You need to throw a BBQ on the white house lawn every week to celebrate the blessings that earth mother has bestowed on you! I'll even come back from the other worlds that I exist in and play my songs at the BBQ. We can get all sorts of FREAKY in the white house swimming pool, the rose garden, and Abraham Lincoln's bedroom.

Fire it up! Fire it up! Fire it up! Fire it up Mr. President

Fire up the grill on the white house lawn. So, for these weekly sunday BBQ's, here's what you do: randomly select 100 towns. Then, select 100 people at random from those 100 random towns. Next, invite them over to the white house for the BBQ. Have them come over and show them a good time: Nothing brings people together better than getting crunked together. Finally, require the 100 randomly selected people in the 100 randomly selected towns to host a BBQ in their neighborhood; this will get them talking about community issues. Before the US starts to solve some of the problems its facing, people have to start communicating with each other about the complexity of the problems. Many Americans live in a sad, cold, lonely isolation; its time to fire it up the public enthusiasm and get people working together.

The American public will LOVE you for hosting these weekly BBQs; to the public, it will appear like when the Palace of Versailles in Paris was opened to the people. To many Americans, the white house currently looks like some sort of old skool white palace, a symbol of the power of the new neoliberal Ancien Régime.

Franklin Roosevelt had his weekly fire side radio chats; you should hold a weekly Sunday BBQ at your new crib. Everybody loves a good BBQ. Its time to show the world that America is a fun and funky place.

Oh. And brother, try to do a little somethin' for the ghetto.
Anything- more doctors, better schools, somethin'

So, I leave you with this:



AND SERIOUSLY:
Tenements, slums and corner bums
Playing tag with winos
The only way to have some fun!

we all just want to have fun. Just try to remember to have some freaky fun in all those classy meetings that you find yourself in.

much love from Stone City,

Slick Rick