BLOW YR WHISTLE

OMG! Exclusive: April fools! Except not! The US Justice Department actually administers JUSTICE

Although the US economy might be collapsing into a total chaos/collapse/shit, not to mention soldiers still in Iraq, a floundering public education system, a massive prison industrial complex, and a ever quickly eroding environment, to name a few, there is some good news!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS!! On April 1, 2009, attorney general Eric H. Holder Jr., appointed by a democratic (D) president, Barack Obama, announced that the US Justice Department was dropping all charges against former republican senator scum bag Ted Stevens. On October 27, 2008, Republican prosecutors from the Bush US justice department successfully convicted senator scum bag Stevens of 7 counts of lying on a senate disclosure form to conceal a 1/4 of million dollars in gifts and home renovations from a oil executives and others .


Senator Scumbag Stevens house, renovated with dirty oil executive money!!! (above)

APRIL FOOLS! Except not. Just watch. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING!!! (but actually makes political sense and therefore is not actually shocking- hold on! its the surprise)




Attorney Holder said that he was HORRIFIED by republican senior justice department prosecutors/officials egregious behavior. Government lawyers from the Obama Adminstration announced that they learned that the republican prosecutors withheld evidence from senator scum bag Stevens lawyers that raised significant doubts about the truthfulness charges.

Basically, the bush administration prosecutors were running a kangaroo court. Attorney General Holder blew the whistle on the kangaroo court. The republican prosecutors (appointed by former King Bush Jr) had evidence that suggested that senator scum bag Stevens was innocent- they withheld that evidence from the defence (senator scumbags Stevens lawyers. If senator Stevens lawyers had known about the evidence that the other republican prosecutors had, they would have presented it to the jury. And if the jury would have heard that evidence, they might have declared senator scum innocent of 7 counts of lying )



(shout out/holler north cakalacky!!!)

The American legal system claims that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. The plaintiff must prove its case against the defendant in a fair way- in that, both sides get all the information that both sides find- and then, once everyone has access to all the information, the two sides present there case based on the evidence, in a battle, in front of a jury made up of American citizens chosen at random. This is done so that a just outcome can be decided.

America (whatever the f&&#ck America is) has collectively decided/established through prior precidents that as a nation, we as a people would rather let guilty criminals go free on a technicality/bullshit error than convict and punish innocent people.



By overturning senator scum bags conviction, attorney general Holder restored justice in some small way. Holder was above partisan politics. He did what was right- most democrats thought that senator scum bag was a crook and dirty old man. And despite this, Holder let senator scum bag off the hook because the he wasn't busted/convicted in a fair way. Holder blew the whistle on incompetence, injustice, and corruption in the American legal system.



Holder restored much needed justice to the department of justice! Justice was served! LAW AND ORDER THEME SONG STARTS TRIUMPHLY PLAYING.

THE SURPRISE: THE US HAS BEEN TORTURING PEOPLE IN UNIMAGINABLE WAYS-

Even though he let a dirty old scum bag senator off the hook, Holder gained much needed political capital. He has proven to the public and the Washington DC capital hill/ beltway establishment that he is above partisanship, and is a truth and justice seeker. And he will need this political capital if and when ( AND HE MUST) decides to investigate US acts of torture.

So What's Next:

To protect American freedom and democracy, the Bush administration launched the WAR ON TERROR- aka, the United States military invaded Iraq, and hunted down the terrorist, or so they say. During the war on terror, the United States government captured and imprisoned suspected terrorist, without ever formally bringing charges against them or telling the suspected terrorists of the crime that they allegedly committed. Then the US government tortured these individuals before giving them a fair and justice trial- ALL IN THE NAME OF US FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROSELYTIZE, and spread alleged freedom and democracy. The Bush Adminstration US Justice Department knew that US miltary department was torturing people. And it did nothing to stop it, in fact, the King George Bush Adminstration aided and abbeitted individuals who where torturing US war prisions in the name of freedom.

THE USA LOOKS LIKE A TWO FACED LIAR. Finally, the Bush administration got busted for torturing people. President Obama has closed the down Guantanamo bay etc. Eric holder now needs to investigate what exactly was going on. This will be a painful and politically controversial investigation: no one in America really wants to admit that it was committing heinous acts of torture because it completely undermines America's credibility and identity. America is suppose to be/ sees itself as pillar of freedom/ exceptional/ a shinning beacon on a hill. Guantanamo bay detention camp undermines these false illusions/fantasies.

America can no longer honestly look at itself and not be ashamed of its actions. According to alcoholics anonymous (a totally American institution!) in order to get better, one has to admit that one has a problem. By letting senator scum bag Stevens off the hook, Attorney Holder and the US Justice department might have the political capital they need to get people in the USA to listen to them/show America that it has a SEVERE problem

ONLY if the US admits that it has a real problem with military might/aggression/violence, will it be able to move forward to more peaceful and prosperous future.